TL;DR:
- Don’t get caught in the comparison trap; there is often a lot behind the scenes that we don’t always see.
- Use comparison to fuel your classroom, not destroy it.
- Changing the negatives to positives by comparing only your work, considering the circumstances, and changing only to make improvements.
In the age of social media, it’s easier than ever to fall victim to comparison with others. As soon as we log on, we are bombarded with Pinterest-worthy living rooms and new weight loss products. We see the vacation a best friend took to Maui and the new house our frenemy from high school bought. Don’t get me wrong, I love to celebrate with others. But at the same time, there’s always that little voice questioning my own worth and accomplishments.
Sometimes I think it’s even harder for teachers. The very nature of our career requires us to constantly search for new strategies and activities. We love our students so we want to give them our absolute best, but trying to keep up is exhausting. The good news is there is a way you can use comparison to fuel your classroom instead of destroy it, changing the negative to a positive.
At some point, we all find ourselves stuck in the comparison trap. It's up to us to decide if we will use it to improve our instruction or tear down what we've already built. Click To TweetChanging the negative to a positive: Compare your work, not yourself.
It’s easy to confuse your career with your character. How many times have you introduced yourself to someone and said “I’m a teacher”? We live and breathe our jobs because we are passionate about what we do. However, what we do is not who we are. We are so much more than that. Therefore, when we start to compare against others, it’s important to remember that it’s a reflection of our practice, not our person.
One thing I struggle with is parent communication. It has always been a weakness and I have to be very intentional in planning for it. On the other hand, it seems to come naturally to my teammate. It’s common to hear of parents reaching out to her and having long conversations outside of school. If I am comparing myself to her, then my first instinct is to think I’m not good enough. I must not be friendly or outgoing enough. I may even think parents don’t like me as well as her.
This way of thinking is detrimental to my mental health.
Instead, I have to reframe that to focus on the work, not my personality. What system does she use to contact parents? How often does she make phone calls? Once I understand the work, then I can emulate that in my room. It’s not about who we are as people, but a difference in strategies and implementation. Someone else’s success does not reflect on your character as a person. But you may be able to make some changes in your practice.
Changing the negative to a positive: Compare your work in ways that make a difference.
When tempted to compare, ask yourself: Will have a positive impact on my classroom? If the answer is no, walk away! When schools closed this spring and classes moved online, my social media feeds immediately filled with educators rallying around each other and offering technology ideas. Some tools I had used, but others I had never heard of.
My brain went into overdrive trying to figure out how I was going to learn everything and use it. That little voice told me I wasn’t effective because I wasn’t incorporating X, Y, or Z. The truth was that little voice was almost entirely wrong. Fewer than half of my students had reliable internet access so the majority of ideas I was stressing about wouldn’t work anyway.
An example of a positive change I made was adding Google Meets. A co-worker started using Google Meets regularly to just connect with whatever students were available. I recognized she was more effectively connecting with her class because of this, so I began holding my own weekly Google Meets. On the other hand, the linked Bitmoji classrooms, while fun, would have been a lot of work for very little outcome. Most of my students wouldn’t have been able to access them anyway. On that one I walked away.
Changing the negative to a positive: Compare with the intent to improve, not just to change.
I’ll admit that morning meeting is my jam. I love it and I’ve taken years to practice and implement it. I am proud of how I run my meeting. That is, until recently, when I heard a coworker explain a strategy that she uses during her meeting. Immediately, that inner voice started questioning the effectiveness of my meeting and whether or not I should try her strategy. The truth is, had I tried it, it would have completely disrupted my meeting—not make it better. Her meeting works for her, mine works for me, and that’s okay!
I didn’t need to change just because it was something different.
On the other hand, one thing I was struggling with was effectively running math groups. I could never meet with all of them and students were more off-task than on. A teammate seemed to have this figured out, so I reached out to her and got feedback on how I could make improvements. She shared her organizational system which I then took back to my classroom.
In both of these scenarios, I compared my practice to those around me. However, only one allowed me to actually improve. The other one would have caused change just for the sake of change, and that’s not a good use of time or energy.
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Changing the negative to a positive: When comparing, consider the circumstances.
The photo of the beautifully decorated classroom in your Facebook group does not show behind the scenes. We don’t see how many attempts another teacher made to get the “perfect lesson.”
The truth is, most of the time we make comparisons without ever knowing the whole story. We don’t know how many failures led to that success or how much time, money, effort, and research went into the finished product. Financially, we are all in different situations. Our families look different. Our students come from different backgrounds. All of these factors have an effect on our work.
If you find yourself comparing what you do to others’ work, take a step back and truly analyze the situation. If you can’t decorate your classroom to match the photo because of your budget, that’s okay. Your room will be beautiful just the way it is.
If you can’t post a new learning video every day because you’re chasing toddlers around the house, that’s okay. Your students will still benefit from what you are able to do. If you are able to do all those things plus more, that’s okay, too.
What matters is we show up for our students and give our best every single day.
At some point, we all find ourselves stuck in the comparison trap. It’s up to us to decide if we will use it to improve our instruction or tear down what we’ve already built. Ultimately your students need you and what you uniquely bring to the classroom every day. My hope is we can end the practice of criticizing ourselves and start learning from each other instead.
About Maggie Gifford
Maggie Gifford is a 17 year veteran with a background in elementary and special education. She recently changed positions and schools so she could teach her daughter’s 1st grade class. Maggie’s ultimate goal is to reach all learners and develop self-motivated change makers. Her passion is to go beyond the standard to make learning fun! She thrives on coffee and good books. She lives with her husband and 2 children in southeast Ohio.
