TL;DR:

• Start the school year by focusing on what could go right, instead of what could go wrong.
• Document moments when things went better than expected to combat negative thinking.
• Actively engage in positive thinking to feel more grounded and resilient.

Here we are in early September. Some of us have been back at school for a few weeks and are into the rhythm and routine. Others of us are just getting ready to welcome students. No matter where we are as we start another school year, this is the time of year we have dreams, ideas, and visions of what we want this year to be. Along with those dreams, ideas, and visions, many of us have that little voice whispering (or yelling), “It’s not going to go like that. There’s no chance it will go as planned. It’s going to go sideways and not go the way you want.” 

This voice is a familiar one to me. Despite the work I do researching, listening, reading, and participating in my own therapy work, I often have a hard time quieting that inner critic during times of high intensity (see: aforementioned beginning of the school year). As we begin again this school year, we may become overwhelmed with the things that could go wrong or off-script. So let’s remind ourselves of an important lesson from way back in season one and in chapter 13 of Teach Happier this School Year: What Could Go Right? 

Dress Rehearsing Tragedy

We tend to gravitate towards the opposite, “What could go wrong?” because our brains are hardwired to protect us and keep us safe, therefore scanning for things that could go wrong. As humans, we can take those little thoughts and magnify them by doing what Dr. Brene Brown calls, “dress rehearsing tragedy.” In other words, we can let our imagination run wild and envision alllll the ways the thing is going to go wrong. It’s a challenging place to be mentally. 

Here is a small shift in action I have done over the past few months that has really impacted my thoughts during overwhelming times. I learned it from an episode of the We Can Do Hard Things Podcast (I’ve looked and looked and can’t find the exact episode from season three). It helps quiet that inner-critic and reduces the scenes in my tragedy dress rehearsal. The small shift is this: I created a new notes page on my phone that is literally called “It Went Right.” Beneath that, I have recorded scenarios where I was certain things would go wrong, but they actually didn’t….all that dress-rehearsing tragedy for nothing.  

Here are just some of the most recent examples.

• I worried I wouldn’t have enough time to run all of the errands and finish all of the things in time for the next family commitment. I did. 
• I was observed teaching a new lesson in a new program and thought it would be negatively critiqued by my colleagues I respect so much. It wasn’t. 
• Although I had reminders and alarms set, I was certain I would forget something necessary for my summer workshops. I didn’t.  
• When planning a multi-layered new teacher orientation, I was convinced I didn’t gauge the time correctly for everything to fall into place over three days. It wasn’t perfect, but everything happened just about on time. 
• I was convinced a group of educators in another district wouldn’t dig what I was saying in a welcome keynote. They did. 
• I had to have a tough conversation with someone I care deeply about and feared it was going to go wrong and our relationship would be damaged. It wasn’t. 
• I just knew a delay at the airport would make me miss my connecting flight. I made it. 

Dress Rehearsing Success

This may seem like an awfully tidy list, and to some extent it is. But you know that there were in fact times when things went sideways and didn’t unfold as I would have liked. But when I recorded the times when I was nervous about something going wrong, and then realized it went right and could see a concrete list proving it, it interrupted my thought pattern and shifted my thoughts a bit. This has helped make me feel a bit more steady, grounded, and resilient.  

This is a simple practice where we aren’t passive in our own happiness, but rather very active and engaged. When we overtly harness the opportunity to catch ourselves, scanning our brains to recall times when things went right in the past, it helps us naturally anticipate things to go right in the present/future. This small shift in action can stabilize our thoughts, calm our body, and help us discern our next right thing. 

During this very busy time of launching a new school year, let’s examine our decisions and tasks as teachers (and parents, partners, and all of our other fully formed grown-up roles) and invite ourselves to recall when our decisions and tasks worked out.   

Let’s not dress rehearse possible tragedies. Let’s dress rehearse possible success. 

Small Shifts, BIG Gifts!

Give it a try! Start your list of “It went Right” today. If you want to kickstart your ideas, think back to the past month or so when you were certain something would go wrong, but it actually ended up going right. See if this concrete, overt list of successes helps you feel a bit more grounded as we begin a new school year.

About Suzanne Dailey

Suzanne Dailey is a proud member of the Teach Better Family! She is an instructional coach in the Central Bucks School District where she has the honor and joy of working with elementary teachers and students in 15 buildings. Suzanne is Nationally Board Certified, a Fellow of the National Writing Project, and has a master’s degree in Reading. She is dedicated to nurturing and developing the whole child and teacher. Suzanne lives in Doylestown, Pennsylvania with her husband and two children.

Check out the Teach Happier Podcast here!