Reframe Your Misunderstandings

Jillian DuBoisBlog, Connect Better, Manage Better, Reflect Better, Self Care Better


  • Misunderstandings happen. Without clarity, we naturally react but it doesn’t have to end on a negative note. We can have control over the situation.
  • You may be feeling fear. Consider your part in the misunderstanding.
  • Accept there is a misunderstanding. Look for lessons learned from it. Reach out for support from trusted friends. Move on.

Another day, another misunderstanding.

It happens more frequently than we care to acknowledge. It can be as simple as a misconstrued answer from the tone of our voice to an erroneously interpreted email from a colleague.

On the other hand, it can be something completely taken out of context, leaving feelings of confusion and humiliation in its wake. Maybe these strong emotions stem from more than just the misunderstanding itself. I believe it could be the heartbreak of not having the opportunity to clarify and bring about understanding from the circumstances. THAT is difficult to let go of. 

I love the neurological complexity of the brain because it senses when basic information is not enough to satisfy the deeper thinking core of our humanness. It is often what drives us into that slow, rational, deliberate, and responsive reflection.

Keep a feeling of openness, gratitude, and awe for everything and everyone around you, despite the misunderstandings. Reframe your heart, mind, and soul with joy each day. Click To Tweet

But what happens when that curiosity is not satisfied? 

If we are completely honest…we react. 

I have learned that this is a natural defensive response, but it doesn’t have to end on a negative note. 

Reframe Your Misunderstandings: Fear

We can probably all agree that reactive responses are a bit dangerous. When situations arise that bring fear, the amygdala is triggered, the frontal lobe is disabled, and the irrational overreaction is prompted. 

Feeling fearful, especially through misunderstandings, is an emotion that is often necessary to process in order to heal. But giving devout attention to that fear over long periods of time brings about hurt and suffering that affects relationships. 

You may ask yourself, “Well, how do I let it go? How can I reframe the misunderstanding to allow forgiveness and peace?” Great questions for deeper contemplation.

Reframe Your Misunderstandings: Your Part

Your environment is bigger than you are. You risk damaging your confidence, contentment, and passions by remaining stagnant in the hurt. However, make sure to also consider whether you contributed to that misunderstanding. Do the heartwork required to take responsibility and be willing to change. 

Chances are it was not a one-way street that brought on the disparity. Strive to respond and adjust to new conditions instead of reacting, allowing a wider aperture to see the bigger picture with light and clarity. Thoughtfully give time and energy to staying calm and readjusting your position with forgiveness.

Reframe Your Misunderstandings: Tips on How to Deal with Misunderstandings

First, accept the misunderstandings. Grieve them. It’s okay. As educators and leaders, there have been several occasions that we have misunderstood our own students’ motives, attitudes, expressions of behavior, and impulsive actions. We don’t just walk away. In those cases, we help direct them to process with patience and grace, don’t we? 

Magnify the positive experience from the misunderstanding. Sit back after things have had some time to settle and reflect. What did you learn from the experience? Listen to your heart and don’t allow that black cloud to shrink your growth. Unquestionably, chase after the optimism you are seeking.

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Lessen your burden. That trial or hardship you encountered is not yours to carry and bury alone. Look for the right team around you to help alleviate the heftiness of the load. Often some friends are waiting to minimize that pressure if only we ask with an authentic spirit.

Lastly, leave yesterday behind. It is done. Put that weight down and move towards a new tomorrow. When we are reminded that there is a fresh beginning waiting for us to cultivate, we can take that truth and walk the path freely from that place of unconditional love for ourselves.

Keep a feeling of openness, gratitude, and awe for everything and everyone around you, despite the misunderstandings. Reframe your heart, mind, and soul with joy each day.

About Jillian DuBois

Jillian DuBois currently serves as an elementary school educator in Clearwater, FL. She has worked both in public and private educational settings for over 20 years. Her passion is to initiate, instill, and infuse joy to those in educational leadership through blogs and podcasts. Jillian uses her voice to help foster hope for student equity and empathy. Outside of school, you will find Jillian outdoors, soaking up the sun and surf, or finding new paths to hike with her husband and son. You can visit her website here!