TL;DR:
- Flip the script so self-care can be a lifestyle rather than a single, isolated act.
- Be proactive rather than reactive.
- Keep data in a journal or the notes app on your phone to monitor how what you’re doing is impacting you.
Self-care is one of those topics people either love or hate. While I’m sure there are some people who are actually neutral about the topic, from my experience, people usually fall into one of two categories: they love it or they hate it. And maybe hate is a strong word, but I have met some people that get pretty fired up when it comes to the topic. And to be honest, I used to be one of them.
Whenever I would hear the words self-care, I would get this feeling in the pit of my stomach which would immediately be followed by a feeling of anger. Why anger? Because I would keep hearing how important it was for me to engage in self-care, yet at the time, I couldn’t even walk down the halls of my school building without having a panic attack. I didn’t have time to eat lunch, let alone drink water during the day. I already wasn’t sleeping because I was panicked about the next day. If I couldn’t even fit these ‘basic needs’ into my day, how was I ever supposed to add in self-care actions?
Unfortunately, my story isn’t unique. I talk with educators on a weekly basis about how hard self-care is to fit into their already long, busy, and exhausting days. And it was these conversations, along with my own experience that led to my own self-discovery about self-care. And ultimately what came next was redefining self-care and what it was going to mean for me.
It’s Time to Flip the Script
When it came to self-care, I decided the term self-care did not serve me anymore. And so I did, what any of us can do, I changed it up. Instead of self-care, I flipped the script to caring about myself. Simple? Yes. But the impact it had on me was huge.
No longer was I searching for one action to do that was going to make me feel better, which was my original definition of self-care. Instead, I was now focused on practices that I could implement every day that focused on caring for who I was and for who I was becoming.
By flipping the script, caring for myself became a lifestyle change versus a single and isolated act.
By flipping the script, caring for myself became a lifestyle change versus a single and isolated act. Click To TweetIt’s Time to Switch From Reactive to Proactive
Through this process, I also began to realize the importance of being proactive in the actions I was taking, versus reactive. Traditionally, I believe that actions of self-care are reactive. You have a hard day at work and you come home and engage in some form of self-care to escape from the emotions of the day. And while this helps in the short term, it is not proactively providing our bodies with the nourishment we need for the future. By changing the focus from reactive to proactive, the focus on where our energy goes is vastly different.
Take that same example from above. You have a really stressful day at work. Nothing is going as planned. Student behavior is off the charts. You come home and have a decision to make. What action will you take to show care for yourself? The goal of this action isn’t to escape what happened. That day happened. There is no escape from it. But what we can do is focus on our actions to help us with what is to come. To help us regulate ourselves and return back to our center so we are present for the current life we are living.
It’s Time to Take Some Data
When it comes to caring for yourself, you are the ultimate decision-maker. But how is it we are supposed to know what works for us? We get to tap into every educator’s favorite word…data. Yes, data. It’s so important that as you are practicing caring for yourself, you are writing down what you are doing and if it is giving you the intended result you were looking for. Keep a journal. Use the notes app on your phone. Do something to take simple data about how you were feeling, what action you took, and the result you had to start to identify if this action is an aligned choice for you when you are feeling different ways.
With different emotions come different actions, so it’s important we take data on what is serving and not serving ourselves as we practice caring for ourselves each and every day.
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It’s Time to Release Arbitrary Timelines
The last step I want to encourage you to take to redefine self-care is to stop putting arbitrary timelines on the actions you are choosing. I used to believe that if I didn’t spend at least 60 minutes doing something, it didn’t count. That was a limiting belief I held onto for way too long. Now, I know it’s less about the time frame and more about the intentionality behind the actions. I can find as much love and compassion for myself in 60 seconds as I can in 60 minutes with purpose and intentionality behind it.
It’s Time to Practice!
Like so many things we do in a day, caring for ourselves is essential. It’s also something that I think we need to remember the purpose isn’t to master this concept overnight. Instead, this becomes a process that we get to practice every single day. The more we can let go of the belief that we need to perfect this process, the easier it is to care for and embrace who we are each and every day!
About Lindsay Titus
Lindsay Titus is a K-12 Behavior Specialist with a license in behavior analysis. As a Board Certified Behavior Analyst, Lindsay coaches and trains educators on the study of behavior and how to implement evidence-based behavior principles in simple and easy ways! With experience as a classroom special education teacher, and behavior specialist in public schools, residential placement, and private settings, Lindsay enjoys working with all educators looking to reignite their passion for education, connect with all students, and conquer challenging behavior in any classroom setting.
