How to Handle Student Confrontations (Video)

Chad OstrowskiBlog, Manage Better, Video(s)

Hey, guys. Today I want to talk about something that can really reduce management issues in your classroom, and that I work with teachers on constantly, and that’s how we approach students to resolve conflicts, to redirect them, and to manage their behavior in a way that doesn’t cause additional conflict.

So, there are two ways you can go up to or approach a student. One of them is authoritarian, and one of them provides a little bit more choice and less judgement. And what I have found is that when you approach a student whether you’re redirecting them, whether you want them to start working, or if they didn’t listen to an instruction the first time, if you start with the assumption that they aren’t going to do what they’re supposed to do, and you start with the judgement that they will not follow directions, they probably won’t because they’re going to feel that from you.

So, let’s take look at an example. If you tell all your students to take out their books and you notice that one of the students hasn’t done that, you can walk up to the student and you can say, “you didn’t take out your book. I told you to do that, please do that right now.”

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You have asserted your authority. You have stated that you didn’t think the student was paying attention or listening, that they hadn’t done what you asked. So, the student is automatically going to go on the defensive. They’ll probably say something like “I was gonna do it,” “you didn’t give me a minute,” or “I didn’t hear you.” So, you automatically created a conflict that is now going to de-rail your lesson; it is going to take more of your valuable instruction time.

The second way to deal with this is calmly approach the student and say, “hey, how are you doing today? Were you planning on taking out that book?” Nine times out of ten they will respond to a simple question: “yeah, I was just finishing something up, I’ll take it out in a second.” You can trust that the student’s going to do what they said they were going to do.

Now, I know this is slightly over simplified. But if you take this general concept, and when you approach students, you don’t do it with judgement, and you don’t try to assert your authority automatically, you’re not going to get a defensive response.

So, when you approach a student, give them the choice to make the right decision. Always give them options. That way there’s not a confrontation to be had. Now I understand that things can escalate and if they still refuse there are other steps you can take. But just by starting the conversation you’re going to reduce a lot of issues that you might have otherwise had.

More importantly, your students are going to start to build a relationship of trust with you. And they’re going to start to believe that you trust them. And once that relationship is built and you increase their ownership of their choices, they’re going to start doing things better. But most importantly, you are going to be able to teach better.