Ah July. The Saturday of Summer.
At this point in the summer, what kind of time are you in? Some of us may find ourselves in a flourishing time; a season when things are positive, meaningful, harmonious, and happy. Others will be in a fragile time; it’s a season when things feel especially tender, vulnerable, stressful, sad, or heavy. And there will be those who are finding themselves in ordinary time; it’s not great, it’s not awful, it just is.
As educators, there’s a bit of pressure when it comes to summer. These precious days are supposed to be when things are often at their sweetest. The chance to sleep in, hang with our own kids, use the bathroom whenever we want, enjoy the freedom of our days that aren’t dictated by a bell schedule. It can be a wonderfully wonderful time.
Unless it isn’t.
Fragile Time
Wait. What?! Glorious summer days aren’t…glorious? Not always. As rational optimists and fully formed grownups, we’ve all experienced these seasons when the underworld really pulls us down. The only fair thing about life is that it’s unfair to everyone. Every single one of us will experience times when our life gets interrupted in really disorienting ways and yet, we have to keep moving on. As teachers, parents, friends, partners…in all of our roles.
It’s a fragile time for this Teach Happier author, speaker, and podcaster, and that’s what we’ll explore today. What do you do when it’s an inevitable fragile time? A quick overview of this fragile summertime is: two people I love most in this world have unexpected and terminal diagnosis, both my kids experienced some intense teenage struggles simultaneously, our basement flooded, my dad moved out of the house he had with my mom and grief became an unexpected visitor, and there’s more unexpected, disorienting changes at work. Personally and professionally, it’s a fragile time. As I said to my friend Jason when he checked in with me, “I will be OK. I am just not OK right now.”
Author Suleika Jaouad says that “Survival is a creative act.” I love that idea because it helps me understand that although I can’t control much about the events life throws at me, I can be creative with how I survive this fragile season.
A weekly newsletter I follow is “The Monday Club” by Hannah B. Every Monday she sends a little message and it’s a welcomed bit of optimism to kick off the week. In one of her recent Monday Club emails, she says that when we face these times when we have to get creative to move through difficult times, we need a Battle Plan. Calling it a Battle Plan makes me want to actually do something in response to what’s happening. The idea of a Battle Plan made me ask myself, “OK, what is my battle plan as I navigate all of these heavy, disorienting things?” As I share my tried and true Battle Plan which has carried me through these past few fragile weeks, our invitation is for you to think about the things you would need to help you feel as grounded, anchored, and steady when your world feels unsteady and disorienting.
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Battle Plan
You’ve heard me say this before. When things get too big, I go real small. Here are the small, underwhelming things that make up my big, official Battle Plan:
- I drink a lot of water.
- I eat densely nutritious food.
- I prioritize sleep.
- I say no to just about everything so I can create space and protect my capacity for my own little family and my close circle of friends. I’ll even use the words, “Thanks, but I have to say no so I can conserve my energy for my family, etc.”
- I move my body gently, by walking alone or with a trusted friend.
- I celebrate the incredibly mundane things I may take for granted when I am in ordinary
- I share my story with people who have earned the right to hear it. These are the supporters who aren’t there to fix or placate by saying, “Everything will be fine.” Instead they say, “Yes. This is hard. You will feel better, but not today. And that’s OK. Until that day comes I am here to hold space, listen, and just love you.” They are the metaphorical “Disney Hug” in action -they don’t let go until I signal I’m ready.
If you like the idea of a Battle Plan, you may like therapist KC Davis’ take on the idea as she calls it, “Struggle Care.” How do you care for yourself when you are struggling? I like that perspective too. Whichever term you like better, Battle Plan or Struggle Care, it’s what we look towards when things fall apart. It’s a way of acknowledging the real things that are happening in a fragile time, but instead of trying to control it, we make a small shift and try to collaborate with those things. Davis says, “This is our chance to learn what to bring into the flourishing time when it eventually shows up later.”
We may not be able to have a say as to what comes at us; but our Battle Plan can always be available to us so we can have a say as to how we respond.
It’s OK if you are struggling in a fragile time. It’s OK if you aren’t OK right now. One day, you will be.
What’s your Battle Plan?
Small Shifts; BIG Gifts!
What’s your Battle Plan? Regardless of what kind of time you find yourself in, what are the concrete things you need when you are in a fragile season? Create your list and keep it somewhere you will access it when you need it!
About Suzanne Dailey
Suzanne Dailey is a proud member of the Teach Better Family! She is an instructional coach in the Central Bucks School District where she has the honor and joy of working with elementary teachers and students in 15 buildings. Suzanne is Nationally Board Certified, a Fellow of the National Writing Project, and has a master’s degree in Reading. She is dedicated to nurturing and developing the whole child and teacher. Suzanne lives in Doylestown, Pennsylvania with her husband and two children.
Check out the Teach Happier Podcast here!
